Bittersweet Tears

Some days I’m just so full of words- so full of a mournfully melancholy orchestra; like trees swaying in the breeze, the leaves gently rustling and, as night falls, the steady chirping of the crickets. I want to say so many things- but they all flow together and mix into a jumbled mess. I’m so thankful for what He has done for me, and yet I still feel like crying. The weight of all I've done wrong is tied to my feet and it’s pulling me under. Choking me and sinking me deeper into this bog of despair. I need to keep my eyes on the goal set for me- the prize awaiting me- the cross that looms over history- the cross of Calvary. I cry because of this pain I've caused- I cry because of the days I've wasted- but I also cry because I’m so happy I’m free. Free and forgiven, safely wrapped in the arms of Christ. Jesus. King.
I don’t wanna waste any more of these days; I never know when the last will come.