One Beautiful Moment

Five months to the day that I turn eighteen; hard to believe I’ve grown up so quickly. Hard to believe how much I’ve changed, and just in these past three months. Time will tell whether the changes were good or evil; but I trust God to mold me in His hand.
In a flashback I see myself as six-seven-eight years old…I was a stick, all arms and legs and bones. I had the cutest smile ever seen. My hair was always up in a ponytail, and braided. Fuzzy curls framing my face; such sweet innocence.
I remember going to my Grandma’s house, and the funny thing is that all I remember is trying to fall asleep. Against the wall in an old sleeping bag with a red deer pattern on the inside. My baby brother’s crib just above my head; him sticking his arm through the slats and poking me. It would be completely dark except for the moonlight coming in through the single window in the guest room. Occasionally a semi would speed past on the mountain highway, creating a sound I can still hear in my head. There was paneling on the ceiling- long lines. I would count them, raise my arm up and trace them with my finger in the air. I was always careful not to knock the wall, for since it was a trailer house, the sound carried into my grandparent’s closet. Across the room there hung a painting. A mother in her nightgown holding her child; comforting him. I told myself that I would be that mother someday. I just hoped I’d be that pretty. As I think back I get tears in my throat. I’ve done so much that I’d never take back, but I long to return to those moments. Was it really me? Or was it just a dream I dreamt? Memories are beautiful things, but also heart-rending ones.
Maybe I’ll just stay in that memory for awhile. Think about something other than now.

Like waves of the sea and flowers of the field, our lives are brief and seen by few. Yet each one is a beautiful moment… -Julie Ackerman Link

Only one life, so live it well,
And keep your candle trimmed and bright;
Eternity, not time, will tell
The radius of that candle’s light.
-Miller