The Difference Between Light and Dark

Stunning as the difference between light and dark, between salvation and damnation, is the picture John Bunyan paints of the differing views of Christian and Ignorance. These two opposite people are both on seemingly the same path to the Celestial City, but their destinations are marked by their beliefs--their beliefs of faith and salvation--and whether they are true, or false.
Faith.  Both Christian and Ignorance know the concept of faith--that it is the act of believing, but they put their faith, their believing, in different things. While Christian puts his faith in the work Christ did on the cross, Ignorance puts his faith in his own obeying of the commandments laid out by Christ. As they walk down the road to the Celestial City, Christian asks Ignorance what he puts his faith in, and to this he replies with “I shall be justified before God from the curse, through His gracious acceptance of my obedience to His law." Christian stands aghast that Ignorance could have such a belief as this, for “true justifying faith puts the soul, as sensible of its lost condition by the law, upon flying for refuge unto Christ’s righteousness." He goes on to explain that true faith depends only upon Christ’s redeeming work upon the cross, and that the debt for sin was already paid. Ignorance’s faith was a “fantastical, false faith,” for “this faith maketh not Christ a justifier of thy [speaking of Ignorance] person, but of thy actions; and of thy person for thy action’s sake, which is false." As these two men compare beliefs, it is shown that one is a child in thought and the other a man planted firm in the truth of Christ.
Salvation.  Even as faith and salvation are entwined, so the placing of faith determines either salvation or condemnation; this was shown as the conversation deepened between Christian and Ignorance. Christian believed that salvation comes from believing and accepting Christ’s gift and claiming His righteousness and name before God the Father, knowing that in himself he was nothing and condemned. On the other hand, Ignorance believed that salvation would be granted to him because of his adherence to the law, for he did not believe that his own soul was sinful and his heart was deceitful, and therefore he had no personal need of Christ’s righteousness to save him. Because Christian placed his faith in Christ, his soul was saved; but Ignorance placed his faith in what he did, and was rejected.
As the tale of Pilgrim’s Progress drew to a close, Christian was seen swimming the river of death, and then was escorted by angels to the gates of the Celestial City, where he was accepted joyfully into the kingdom and arms of Christ, his Redeemer; but Ignorance was seen hiring a boat to help him cross the river, and then climbing slowly up the hill to the gate of the City. At the gate he knocked and knocked, until an angel peered out and asked why he knocked, for Heaven did not know him, and Christ did not know him. He was perceived as an unwashed intruder and was drug away to the pit reserved for those who did not accept the gift of Christ’s redemption on the cross. Along the path the conversation between Christian and Ignorance seemed like a trifle and a matter of no use, but pride and arrogance could not, and never will, earn a place in the City that God has prepared for those who trust in Him.

Trembling in the Night

It is one of those nights again. I long so desperately for love and light and joy and peace. But instead I feel tormented by a mind like a restless sea. The choppy waves tossing up silt and sand. I close my eyes only wishing to forget and sleep, but my dreams haunt me and I wake with a start. And I tremble in my bed. There are so many things that I don't let enter my mind in the daytime for I know what they will do to my heart, but they come in my dreams, and I can't stop them. Tears shed, wars raged, loves lost, my life slipping away. Such are my dreams, and I can't make them go away. There is only One who is able to calm these waters of my heart; only One who can make them calm and smooth as glass. So I cry out. And I lean into His arms--He smooths my tired brow and gives me the rest for which I long. And such sweet rest it is.

Washed in the Blood & Redeemed

Today I'm reading: ℂolossians 1:15-23
JESUS "is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation...by Him all things were created..."
1:15-20 ; Jesus is the Creator, the beginning and the end-the first and the last-the firstborn of all creation, and through Him my salvation came; it was He who hung upon the cross and shed His blood-so precious, for me ♡
1:21-23 ; I was once "alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds..." but I am now reconciled by the blood of the Lamb ♡ I AM NOW SET FREE ♡
⇒I was reconciled so that He might "present [me] holy and blameless and above reproach before Him..."
⇒He took me, a little girl soiled by the dirt of the world, with ratted hair and stained clothes, with fear in my eyes and scars on my heart-He took that little girl and wrapped her up in His big, loving God-arms, washed her, brushed her hair, healed all her bruises and scars, and took away all her fears-that was me. He cared so much to clothe me: the soul-naked, to heal me: the sin bruised and broken, to erase my guilt, my scars. Oh my Lord, OH HOW I NEED YOU.
⇒NOW :D I stand before the King of kings, a bride adorned in purest white; my stains of impurity are gone, for I was bought back with His blood. Tears of joy run down my face-my King is my Lover, my truest friend, and my Abba, Daddy. ♡♡♡ He holds out His hand, and I cannot hold back the tears of sheer joy as I realize all He's done for me. Oh Jesus, I will rush and run and collapse into Your arms for I AM YOURS, I AM REDEEMED; now I live to proclaim it. OH MY JESUS, THANK YOU ♡♡♡
☞ for now 1:35AM

Tossed Upon Many Waves

The march of drumbeats in the air

Through these cobbled streets they stare

The light it hides and darkness creeps

Up through these walls and quiet streets.

Small children run and hide behind

Their mother’s skirts as soldiers bind

Their father’s hands, their brother’s arms

And lead them off to die.

One day that pounding beat it led

Upon our door, upon our step

They bound his feet and tied his hands

And led him off to die.

A shot rang out and one by one

A body fell and with a thud

Drove deep into the heart a fear

And from my eye there dropped a tear.

I looked at him and as he fell

I saw and felt what seemed to tell

From in his eyes a plea so deep

For me my soul to hold, to keep.

But in his blood another tune

Cried and screamed and ran down through

The cobbled streets to stain the ground

Of innocent men lost in the sound.

The sound of cries heard in the streets

The screams of dying men, to keep

Their lover’s arms, their children’s hands

Bound and woven, to hold fast and stand.

In a daze, not quite alive

I walked so slowly, and by my side

Misery, as a close friend might

Took my arm and took my fight.

So down upon that beach I walked

Walked to and fro and far apart

From worlds and skies and mornings bright

All I could see was his cold dead eyes.

The pounding in my head is strong

So strong I cannot hear the throng

Of voices streaming down the lane

Of wailing children sick with pain.

It’s all I hear, here as I walk

It pulls the air from in my lungs

Until I standing here undone

His slumping form, his empty eyes

Staring back from darkened skies.

The rivulets ran down my face

As this tired soul tossed from place to place

Upon the wind and on the waves

As greedy arms shunned to save.

The waves they pound and on the beach

Reach out to take my by the feet

They pull and grasp and draw me out

To drown my soul with this cold doubt.

It tossed and beat and swarmed until

Just a battered girl I felt-

At the mercy of the waves

Sucked into deepened, darkened caves.

Foaming waters, surfing sea

Roll, so deep, so dark, over me

And close above these tired eyes

Darkness so deep I could not but despise.

I sank beneath those stinging waves

And lost all love and hope and peace

I closed my eyes and gave up all

And slowly drifted into dark.

~

I cracked my eyes and at my feet

Swirling water, foamy sea

Lapped upon me, by my side

Seaweed dripped as if my guide.

The air it sparkled in the light

Of morning love, and joy, and sight

Of my small form curled up on the beach

Not quite dead, just full of sleep.

My lips were parted, pink and full

As the waves woke me with a pull

A gentle tug,a quiet sigh

To reunite my soul and I.

To wake and rise up off her beach

To rise from her bosom where I lay deep in sleep

Tossed to and fro by many waves

Flung here upon this foamy beach

The waves had quieted to a pulsing beat

Not roaring, nor pulling, simply lapping at my feet.

The dawn had awakened the gentler side

Of sea and surf and sand and tide

And God had stooped to give me breath

To breathe once more into this tired chest.

I picked up every limb and bone

And carried myself as the morning shone

Down the beach into the light

For God had saved me from the night.

I looked above, and over me

Flew seagulls, kind and soft and free

And I knew within my heart, deep down

That so I could be- I would not drown.

The waves they roll and at my feet

Lap so very soft and sweet

The clouds have passed, my troubles gone

And in my heart there rings a song.

A song of silent jubilee

For You, my King, have made me see

That life is just a passing dream

But You are forever- holy- King.

The waves they crashed and pulled me in

To suffocate my soul

They beat the rocks and dashed the beach

And tried to knock me off my feet.

But Jesus had His arm, you see,

Around my shoulders when my silent plea

Rose to meet the Father’s ears-

He bent to wipe my many tears.

His hand will encompass me,

And in His arms I will be-

Guarded and guided, safely kept

For all eternity.

I Wish To Be Underneath A Maple Tree

Day after day I long to write, but I have no words, no tongue, no pen. My mind is closed to the rhyming words, and I see the beauty around me but I cannot make it move my heart. I don't know what has happened to me, I don't understand what evil has caught my tongue. All I know is that I cannot write, and though I used to sing, the words I cannot force to come. The birds may sing their happy song, the wind may keep on whistling, but my heart, this heart, is so weak it may only keep on trembling. Maybe it is the lack of fresh air, or the torn tendons of a bleeding heart. Maybe it's a loss of blood, or maybe it's a loss of love. I have no words, this night, this day, and all I wish to do is fall asleep underneath a maple tree. Maybe, oh I so do wish it, maybe my dreams will come back, so I can dream my days away.

Pain

Here I am researching the ministry opportunities for Christian counselors, and the ministry opportunities are enough to make one fall over with the immensity of them. Over and over again, page after page-so many ways for we, as Christians, to be the hands and feet of Christ. He has enabled us to be healers, comforters, ambassadors, servants. And yet where do we sit? At home, on our couches, in front of TVs scoffing at the commercials of starving children. But what are we commanded?

"When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. Before Him will be gathered all the nations, and He will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And He will place the sheep on His right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right, "Come, you who are blessed by My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave Me food, I was thirsty and you gave Me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed Me, I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me, I was in prison and you came to Me." Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, "Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? And when did we see You a stranger and welcome You, or naked and clothe You? And when did we see You sick or in prison and visit You?" And the King will answer them, "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these My brothers, you did it to Me." "Then he will say to those on His left, "Depart from Me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave Me no food, I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome Me, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me." Then they also will answer, saying, "Lord, when did we see You hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to You?" Then He will answer them, saying, "Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me." And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." {Matthew 25:31-41}

Why do we not go out and do, why do we not see all the pain of the world and seek to heal and soothe souls in the name of Jesus?  "My brothers, this should not be so."

Thudding Heart

In the silence I hear the clock tick. In the stillness I can feel my heart thud within my chest. In the growing darkness faintly I can see my chest pulsating to match my heart. I feel almost too tired to move. It's this time of year again when there is so much to do that I feel as if I should collapse under the weight of it all, and all I wish to do is simply rest. But I cannot, for one pause may undo all the hours of sweat and work, pain and sleeplessness. My eyes are tired tonight. Not as if they are soon called to sleep, but tired like a man awake with insomnia, a man whose mind can never let him rest. My mind tries to tell me again and again all the ways I am not good enough. It tries to parade my faults and imperfections in front me, over and over again, like the repeating of a nightmare. So many struggles, so many fears, and they always seem to surge back like the waves of an upset sea. Some moments it's all I can do to keep treading water, it's all I can do to gasp for one more breath. Though, in the end, no matter what struggles I must face day to day-nightmares, past or present-no matter what storms my mind and life may be hurling, my soul, the deepest, truest part of me is lodged safely in the palm of my Redeemer's hand. I shall never be plucked out, I shall never be put to shame.

A Still Form in the Street

Too weak to lift my eyes, too tired to lift my head. Lying on the ground, the rain soothing tired limbs. My cheek resting against the moist earth, the mud splashing up, but washing down my face. I close my eyes and do not wish to open them tonight. The cold begins to soak into my bones, and somehow I can no longer feel my toes. My parched lips part and gasp for deeper air, and my swollen lids crack open but see nothing but darkness there. I am lying in the middle of a lonely street, mud in my hair, tears on my cheeks. Too tired to move, my body so weak. There is no one to help, no help will come. So I'll lay in the cold street, till morning light comes; but when the people shall see me, I shall be already gone.