Place of Quiet

I'm sitting here- silently absorbing this moment. I'm sitting in my Mom's easy chair, with curly hair and a quiet heart. All I can hear is the steady ticking of the clock mimicking my heart beat, my pencil scratching on this paper- my own quiet breathing. Do you know how much I love these moments? These moments of quiet solitude- when my heart and mind take a moment in the bustling day to just be still. 
...and then people come into the house and turn music on...or start a conversation...or turn the video games or tv on. I feel like my existence is crushed. I can only last so long. I love the silence. But if you watch me, soon I'll slip out of the room, the house...out of civilization. 
If I was at camp I would go sit in the chapel when no one's there- in the corner on the pew- the sunshine on my face. Fold up and reflect on my heart-just listening to the silence. Or maybe steal away to walk the horse trail. Up to the sagebrush wilderness and through the trees to my little beach. A narrow strip of sand with foamy waves lapping the shore. An abrupt incline behind me- a beautiful lake before me. I'd sit on the beach and toss pebbles into the water. Listening to the comforting plop-plop-plop of the stones hitting the surface and sinking beneath. Let the water tickle my toes and let the breeze sift it's fingers through my hair. I'd close my eyes and let the wind caress my face. Let the cool evening air wash over me. I hear an eagles's cry echo over the lake and so I look up and gaze as his majestic wings carry him over the trees. I would spend as long as I could in that spot...until the last traces of the sunset were dying away and the night is growing dusky. I would pick my way back up the incline and through the sagebrush and over the barbed wire- trek across the camp and launch myself into sleep as I gazed at the mountain stars through the window by my bed. I wouldn't even care if I missed dinner. 
Can't you see? The silence is part of my soul- it fills me up and gives me peace. It's so much easier to have an intimate conversation, without distractions, with my Daddy-my best friend-my Savior Jesus Christ.
I see in my mind's eye and wish with all my heart that I could be there tonight. At least for one last time. But I'll sit here, in my room and listen past the voices, past the fish tank, past the music, to the quiet chirping of the crickets outside my window- to the stillness that I love so much. I carry that peace within me though. It's not from nature, or people, or things, or even security- it's from the Holy One of Israel, and it dwells deep within my soul.

 I am the possessor of a quiet soul.

Moonbeams

Dark is the night and dreary my heart. The moon beams are splitting the shadows apart. 1966, eve of the night. A wolf howls and the mist falls slowly into the night. The sound of the running feet ring in my ears, the whispers and growls are low and sincere. Here once, there twice- and another over there. All around me- surrounding me- scaring me- lurking behind me. I'm all alone, in the night, with a wolf as a friend; and a growl to (contribute) to my own labored breathing. The eerie eyes haunt me, and the dark night surrounds me. My feet fall hot and fast on the path ahead of me. I trip over a branch in the path- they're almost beside me. What next, says my soul, and I cry out for help. The razor sharp teeth sink into my flesh. I open my mouth, but I am but a mute voice in the wilderness full of whispers and haunts. Again and again the sharp stings steal my breath. Trees loom(ing) overhead, the darkness seeps over the skies. The clouds are covering up the sky and my heart beats to the sound of the (air) whippoorwill. I fall to the ground, my blood seeps into the hard earth. They're all upon me, tearing at my flesh. They all surround me- and I wonder what's (if heaven's) next. Then a soft voice is heard calling my name- quietly, whispering through the dark trees. I'm not really conscious, but I know they've all left- the sharp stings and pains have nearly all fled. A voice whispers closely into my ear, whispering, but with power and strength. "Get up, get up my dear one. Your haunts are all gone- I've chased them away. You're free and alive- and I call you my own. Stay to this new path of light and pure love. Wolves will stalk you, but close by my side, nothing can touch you- not even a whisper from the other side." So I took His hand, and I'll never let go, for the other side is pain that once it has a hold, will never let go. So come with me to Jesus, my lover divine, my Savior and guardian, and (owner of all that is mine.)

Blackness

Don't think I can be duped- 'cus I can't. A whisper reaches to me from the darkness- A twig snaps to my left- Dark shadows haunt the night- ...And you're all I have left... So why aren't you here by my side? Holding my hand- protecting me? I sighed- maybe it was never to be- you and me... No matter how hard I'd cried, or tried to "be right," You would rather have committed suicide- So now I'm gone. You took your time with someone else- Just to fill a void- So you missed your chance- my heart is dead- So long- my friend! So long. But wait! I heard another sound- Closer this time- creeping slowly forward- It was the sound of leather against grass- Scraping- stepping lightly- quietly- stealthily... The breathing was no longer quiet, But deep gasps of air- heavy- breaking the silence and Fraying my nerves... It was coming nearer now- slowly... I frantically thought of a place to hide- Something to protect myself with, But I was too late- Because he stood before me- Strong and big, he caught me off guard- I gasped and looked upward to see his face... I looked to where his face should have been, but saw Nothing. I could still hear his labored breathing, But no face could be seen- His hands were strong and massive, Along with shoulders and chest- He stood with authority, And could feel his invisible eyes staring me down. The mist swirled around us as I watched, As in slow motion, His hand reach out for my neck- And then it all came together- the fragments combined Into a picture, and the I realized what was next. I screamed, And all was blackness.