I'm sitting here- silently absorbing this moment. I'm sitting in my Mom's easy chair, with curly hair and a quiet heart. All I can hear is the steady ticking of the clock mimicking my heart beat, my pencil scratching on this paper- my own quiet breathing. Do you know how much I love these moments? These moments of quiet solitude- when my heart and mind take a moment in the bustling day to just be still.
...and then people come into the house and turn music on...or start a conversation...or turn the video games or tv on. I feel like my existence is crushed. I can only last so long. I love the silence. But if you watch me, soon I'll slip out of the room, the house...out of civilization.
If I was at camp I would go sit in the chapel when no one's there- in the corner on the pew- the sunshine on my face. Fold up and reflect on my heart-just listening to the silence. Or maybe steal away to walk the horse trail. Up to the sagebrush wilderness and through the trees to my little beach. A narrow strip of sand with foamy waves lapping the shore. An abrupt incline behind me- a beautiful lake before me. I'd sit on the beach and toss pebbles into the water. Listening to the comforting plop-plop-plop of the stones hitting the surface and sinking beneath. Let the water tickle my toes and let the breeze sift it's fingers through my hair. I'd close my eyes and let the wind caress my face. Let the cool evening air wash over me. I hear an eagles's cry echo over the lake and so I look up and gaze as his majestic wings carry him over the trees. I would spend as long as I could in that spot...until the last traces of the sunset were dying away and the night is growing dusky. I would pick my way back up the incline and through the sagebrush and over the barbed wire- trek across the camp and launch myself into sleep as I gazed at the mountain stars through the window by my bed. I wouldn't even care if I missed dinner.
Can't you see? The silence is part of my soul- it fills me up and gives me peace. It's so much easier to have an intimate conversation, without distractions, with my Daddy-my best friend-my Savior Jesus Christ.
I see in my mind's eye and wish with all my heart that I could be there tonight. At least for one last time. But I'll sit here, in my room and listen past the voices, past the fish tank, past the music, to the quiet chirping of the crickets outside my window- to the stillness that I love so much. I carry that peace within me though. It's not from nature, or people, or things, or even security- it's from the Holy One of Israel, and it dwells deep within my soul.
I am the possessor of a quiet soul.
