Giving Thanks

I've spent far too long thinking about myself--my dreams, my whims, my wishes, my brokenness, my struggles.. Everything about me and what is going on in my heart and life. It's a paradox, really, if you think about it long enough. I try to figure myself out and work through all my struggles by both writing and thinking, but the fullest healing comes when I forget about myself and think instead of other people and how I can bless their lives. My contentment blooms when my heart is thankful--not just to and for those who love and care for me, but also when I learn to say thank you for the hard things, because those things are what mold me into becoming truly beautiful.
Life and living is such a mystery and enigma to me. Whenever I think that I've got something all worked out inside my mind my perspective is shattered and my dreams either broken or enlarged. There is a passage in the Bible, I can't think of where it is at the moment, that likens people to lumps of clay being worked by the potter's hands. God is the potter, and I am the clay.
God can't make me into a beautiful vessel unless I am soft to His touch and His will, and when I become hard, sometimes He has to break me. And then I fall into those lowest ebbs of tide and into the deepest darkest valleys and I have to choke out His name. I choke out His name and He brings me light. God, in His infinite wisdom, has given each and every one of us a free will to choose to either be soft to His touch and love, or to turn away in defiance and self-love. And for me, Thanksgiving is a call to return to His arms and His love in reverent thankfulness, remembering not only what He has done for us on the cross, but also what He continues to do each and every moment of our lives. Though my sin and selfishness blinds me to His grace and all His gifts, He has made a way for me to be renewed and made whole again.
For His mercies are new every morning.
And though my stubborn and foolish heart may turn its back on His face day after day, His arms never stop reaching out to me. For though I am faithless, He is faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

I need to take more time to be thankful.