Nothing but Pain

Some days what can only be described as a perfect rage floods up inside me; it makes my head ache and my stomach churn within me. A knot forms in my throat and all I feel is a pulsing anger at all the pain and all the people. I know what you're thinking, and I know that mine is a horrible view to have, but it is the truth. All I feel like is lashing out again and again, all in an effort to protect myself. So many people only seek to hurt; so many people only seek to tear apart; so many people only seek their own, and it makes me burn inside. And then the rage inside me is replaced with a hollow, aching bitterness that rots my bones and steals both my color and my joy. Oh that the world was clean and every man pure and good. As it is all I long to do is escape from every single soul but my own and live a life of solitude. People whisper words of appreciation and adoration, speaking lies as they tell you that they love you, and then they turn and abandon you, or they manipulate and use you. How could I ever seek love again? The words "I'm sorry" don't cut it; they don't strip away either the damage or the pain. I feel my head grow heavy and weak, and my eyes narrow in pain. I have no desire to seek love again. I have no hope in human affection. All I long to do is crawl away and live by myself under a lone and wide and sprawling tree.