Riddled with scars, here I sit in the silence.
It's not him, it's me. It's always been me. Either because I'm not content, or I'm selfish and I want my way, or I feel guilty, or I feel degraded. But these are all lies I've been fed like a complacent child. I say I want God but what do I do? Read a psalm in the morning and bless my food at meals. Is that a Christian? Or is that a title, a mere hypocrite like the ones Jesus scorned as whitewashed tombs and pits of vipers? I say I don't want to be that, but am I? Really? Who do I really want to be? What could be my potential if I just stop believing the lies? And look to His face?
