Lost Dreams

My dream is like
A lake of fog and mist,
It starts and ends with no beginning,
  Or end.
And there I am, lost in it's midst...
Walking, walking, wandering, and looking,
  Vainly looking for a way out.
I trip and fall, for I can't see my feet,
And my crying voice is smothered by the
  Mist's hand upon my lips-
His strong arms held me back when I almost broke
  Out of his grip-
This hated fog...this prison of nothingness...

But in between the waves of mist I see
  Glimpses of fantasy, of fiction, and reality...
As real as the letters on this page-
Like a silent, solemn face staring back at me-
The laughter of distant friends-
  The hate and ugly sin of the world that
We happen to be living in-
All in the glimpse of another dream...

Horror and love and shame mix with passion
  And kindness and peace.
Flowing together, they're indistinguishable-
But it never fails- it never does...
   You're there.

Your cold eyes stare at me,
  And at times your finger even points.
You search for me, but don't find me in the maze...
  I wish you would, but alas, I'm lost to you- oh, so lost...
Sometimes your love and warmth shine through-
   Like a candle in the darkness.
A hug here, a kiss there
  Shocking me to my knees...
Your words reverberate in my heart
  Like ripples upon the lake shore-
They never leave my mind.

Oh, but alas- twas only a dream at last-
  A dream- just a foolish dream lost to the mist-
The mist that holds my memory and the
  Chains that bind my pen.

When will I be free of the torment I feel, God?
  Of the love and the anguish and longing
For a soul so lost.
  Illuminate my path, dear Jesus,
Make your face shine upon me- open my
  Heart, and open my eyes- help me to see
You're the only way out
  Of a dream that turned
Into a nightmare.

Leaves

 It seems silly to me, that I may never be here one day...
I can't see myself doing anything different,
   Doing anything somewhere else.

The leaves on my oak tree,
Well, they burst out in fervor in spring...
   Then linger through summer-
Not clinging to the days but just living them.
They never complain about what tree they're on,
   Or what shape or color they are...if a bug has eaten them or not...
They just live.

And then- here is fall...and I'm sitting here writing...
I probably should be doing something else...
Something more important, but I find myself
   Admiring the leaves as they fall...
They're only leaves!
Yet, I'm still admiring them...

I'm sitting here on the front porch step looking up at my oak...
The sunlight dancing across my page...
My kitty harassing me...
And I look up at my oak-
The sunlight is filtering through the leaves as they slowly drift
   To the ground...carried on a light, warm breeze...

Why can't I just be a leaf?

After they fall from where they've lived their entire lives,
   They rest for a few moments on the ground until another breeze
Whips them up and then carries them to another place...
Only to be moved again...

Oh that I were a leaf...
My life would be so much simpler...
   *sigh

I Know You're Here

 Be Thou my peace and my safety secure,

  Guard me and keep me,

O Lord, now I pray.

 

Keep me from all of life's struggles

  And fears-

Nighmeres that torment the heart

  And the soul.

 

Put in my ear and in my mind's eye,

  Visions of rapture,

And sweet clouds in the sky.

 

Shake away the terrible sounds

  Of howling wind,

And clattering chains-

  Chains of the lost and the dying.

 

The furious beating of my heart

  Can be tamed, by only the

Soothing hand of the Savior...

  You, dear God.

 

Pain has assailed me and fear overtaken me...

  Why do I feel so entirely hunted?

 

In the midst of life's storm

  Whereon I'm tossed to and fro,

You hold me secure.

  Never to be shaken,

Never to be taken,

 

Thank You Lord,

  I know You're here.