A quiet meadow, stretching for endless miles...like a sea, calm and still. It's so quiet that you can hear the grass shifting in the wind, a gentle breeze. The sun is a warm yellow, and it's light is gently warming your skin. The sky above is littered with puffy white clouds that are moving lazily over the horizon. It is a picture of peace and happiness. The opposite picture is a picture of the the sea. The waves are catastrophic, they stretch over your head for miles, and you are covered, drowning, struggling. In despair. You can see the chaos overhead, as you look up through the water, to the lightning striking the water, and the rain pelting and beating the surface. Below you see blackness, endless water, despair. Nothing. You're sinking, and you though you struggle to break the surface, you only sink deeper, and deeper, to the bottom. Until all you see is blackness.
Whatever you do, whatever you try, the darkness pulls you. You want to cling to the peace, the stillness, the love, but the darkness pulls, and pulls, the despair, the grief, the hopelessness. You can't do anything. You're lost. I'm found, but still, sometimes, I too am lost. Drowning in hopelessness.
Take away my capacity for pain and you rob me of the possibility for joy. --Ross W. Marrs
